Dying Well: A Forgotten Sacred Passage
Death is one of the few universal experiences, yet in the United States, it often unfolds in ways that feel clinical and detached. For many people, the final chapter of life happens in a hospital surrounded by machines, rather than at home surrounded by loved ones. Families spend those last days juggling logistics, decisions, and emotions. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
We need to start talking about how Americans die, and how we want that experience to change, because a generational shift is already underway. As the Baby Boomer generation ages, the number of deaths in the United States is expected to rise sharply. This surge will strain an already overburdened healthcare system that is not designed to provide meaningful, personalized, or compassionate end-of-life care.
The American Paradox
Hospitals were designed for lifesaving care, not for dying. Yet for many Americans, that’s where life ends, often because it’s the only system in place. Patients and families aren’t given clear pathways to transition home or into hospice care until very late in the process. It’s not a failure of compassion, but of coordination and communication.
More broadly, death in the United States is often viewed as a failure of medicine, of systems, of effort, rather than as a natural and meaningful stage of life. That belief shapes how we approach the end of life: with fear, avoidance, and intervention rather than acceptance, connection, and a sense of destiny.
Seeing Death as a Respected Stage of Life
In much of Asia, particularly in Japan, South Korea, and parts of China, the end of life is seen as a deeply communal and spiritual process. There is an unspoken cultural understanding that elders have already contributed their share to society and deserve peace, not procedures, in their final days.
In Japan, families often bring aging parents home when health declines. Palliative and community care teams visit regularly, ensuring that comfort and connection replace the sterile intensity of hospital care. Death at home is not seen as a failure of medicine, but a fulfillment of one’s natural path. Elders are viewed not as patients to manage, but as teachers whose wisdom enriches their communities. This perspective helps make dying at home a normal, supported choice, blending medical care with cultural compassion.
Building Systems that Honor Choice
Improvement starts with giving people options and guidance earlier in the process. When care teams introduce palliative services sooner, families have more time to plan, reflect, and align around what matters most. Health systems can also make dying at home a more supported choice by coordinating visits, offering respite care, and helping families feel prepared.
This isn’t about removing medical support; it’s about integrating it differently. When hospitals, hospice providers, and families work together, we can make space for both medicine and meaning.
One Recommendation to Health Systems: Integrate Chaplains More Deeply into Care
A starting place on the journey to a better system could be in rethinking the role of the hospital chaplain. Many people think of hospital chaplains as evangelical clergy, and while some may come from religious traditions, chaplains are trained to serve people of all faiths and belief systems, including those who are not religious at all.
Board Certified Chaplains undergo extensive professional training that is far broader than many realize. They must complete rigorous coursework, clinical residencies and certification to serve effectively within diverse healthcare settings. Many hold credentials in thanatology, hospice, and palliative care, and they are specifically trained to be agnostic in nature, capable of supporting the needs, values, and beliefs of every patient and family they encounter. Some chaplains aren’t even religious, but instead approach their work as humanitarians, committed to bringing dignity, compassion, and connection to those facing life’s end.
Despite their training, chaplains remain one of the most underutilized resources in healthcare. Too often, they’re called in only at the very end, to perform last rites or offer comfort after decisions have already been made, rather than being integrated throughout the care process.
Health systems should elevate chaplains to central members of the care team, empowering them to act as mediators, educators, and advocates. They can help families interpret medical information, mediate between families and clinicians, and ensure that patients’ values and wishes are honored throughout their care. Importantly, chaplains can also help facilitate the transition from hospital to home, ensuring that families feel supported and prepared if a loved one wishes to die in a familiar, peaceful environment.
Closing Thought
End-of-life care offers healthcare one of its most profound opportunities for change. It is not about failure, but about possibility. The chance to align medicine with meaning. When we invest in compassion, communication, and choice, we remind ourselves that healthcare’s ultimate purpose is not just to preserve life, but to honor it.
The best care helps people not only live well, but also die well, surrounded by peace, understanding, and grace.






